This was a well written and profound article. I enjoyed your argument points and can understand where you are coming from.
I am definitely guilty of throwing this term or moniker around often. It’s not a bad thing and I don't worry about it, but your article did make me stop and think, which I always appreciate when a writer can do that for me.
My favorite part was your list of friends and their personality or best attribute in regard to how they show up in your friendship.
I agree to disagree with your assertion that having a "best friend" is limiting or damaging. While I think that there are friendships that, in the moment, are all-consuming, in my experience, a "BFF" is someone who stays even when life is hard, when your paths aren't always aligned. It's a relationship that survives the ebbs and flows that come with the changing seasons of life. I can honestly say that I have 2 friends who I would lay claim to the title of "BFF", or perhaps to me the term means more "sister" than anything. As I don't have any biological sisters, I found my sisters in my BFF's. They are women who have made such an inalienable contribution that no matter what life has thrown, or will throw at us, the relationship remains solid. One of my BFF/sisters I fell out of contact with for several years, and yet when we reconnected, it was as if no time had passed at all. To me, That is a Best Friend. This sister of mine, who loves me, my spouse, my children as her own, etc., and it's all reciprocated back through me to hers; She is forever one of my Best friends. I am honored to bestow that title on her, as well as wear it myself. I can't speak for anyone else, but perhaps feelings of limitations are more a sign that we are attributing more to a friendship than it's worth. Not every friend should be or needs to be classified as BFF; I recognize that there have been friends in my life who were with me for certain seasons, and then that friendship petered out. I think what's more damaging is the mentality that we have to limit what types of friendships we have, or label them a certain way to appease some unspoken norm.
I am an ecstatic believer in friendship, and I heartily disagree with you! Not all friendships are forged or maintained equally, and my inner circle of friends absolutely deserves the title of “best.” To me, that is descriptive, not hierarchical or exclusionary. Also, so what if it is? I don’t owe my friendship to everyone! Exercising discretion in who I choose to invest in is valuable and healthy. Maybe I don’t have room for new friendships at a certain point in my life–but if my needs are met with the friends I have, then that’s ok!
Can the title of “best friend” be weaponized? Sure. But, I don’t think that’s the case with most mature adults–or any adults I want to be friends with!
I love that you shared this and that you disagree — thank you! You made two important points that really resonate with me — one, that you can have an inner circle of best friends (plural), and two, that some people weaponize the title. I hadn’t thought of it that way but I think that’s why the phrase bothers me. Perhaps a good nudge toward veering away from those people.
This was a well written and profound article. I enjoyed your argument points and can understand where you are coming from.
I am definitely guilty of throwing this term or moniker around often. It’s not a bad thing and I don't worry about it, but your article did make me stop and think, which I always appreciate when a writer can do that for me.
My favorite part was your list of friends and their personality or best attribute in regard to how they show up in your friendship.
I agree to disagree with your assertion that having a "best friend" is limiting or damaging. While I think that there are friendships that, in the moment, are all-consuming, in my experience, a "BFF" is someone who stays even when life is hard, when your paths aren't always aligned. It's a relationship that survives the ebbs and flows that come with the changing seasons of life. I can honestly say that I have 2 friends who I would lay claim to the title of "BFF", or perhaps to me the term means more "sister" than anything. As I don't have any biological sisters, I found my sisters in my BFF's. They are women who have made such an inalienable contribution that no matter what life has thrown, or will throw at us, the relationship remains solid. One of my BFF/sisters I fell out of contact with for several years, and yet when we reconnected, it was as if no time had passed at all. To me, That is a Best Friend. This sister of mine, who loves me, my spouse, my children as her own, etc., and it's all reciprocated back through me to hers; She is forever one of my Best friends. I am honored to bestow that title on her, as well as wear it myself. I can't speak for anyone else, but perhaps feelings of limitations are more a sign that we are attributing more to a friendship than it's worth. Not every friend should be or needs to be classified as BFF; I recognize that there have been friends in my life who were with me for certain seasons, and then that friendship petered out. I think what's more damaging is the mentality that we have to limit what types of friendships we have, or label them a certain way to appease some unspoken norm.
I am an ecstatic believer in friendship, and I heartily disagree with you! Not all friendships are forged or maintained equally, and my inner circle of friends absolutely deserves the title of “best.” To me, that is descriptive, not hierarchical or exclusionary. Also, so what if it is? I don’t owe my friendship to everyone! Exercising discretion in who I choose to invest in is valuable and healthy. Maybe I don’t have room for new friendships at a certain point in my life–but if my needs are met with the friends I have, then that’s ok!
Can the title of “best friend” be weaponized? Sure. But, I don’t think that’s the case with most mature adults–or any adults I want to be friends with!
I love that you shared this and that you disagree — thank you! You made two important points that really resonate with me — one, that you can have an inner circle of best friends (plural), and two, that some people weaponize the title. I hadn’t thought of it that way but I think that’s why the phrase bothers me. Perhaps a good nudge toward veering away from those people.